A lot to take in......please let me succeed!

Well....my night started off with me watching Secret Life of an American Teenager....wow! All I can say is I am terrified to get pregnant and try to carry a child! I would be absolutely devastated if that ever happened to me......a stillbirth......wow! I just had all these feeling run through me and it was scary. I know its just a TV show but this stuff really happens in people's lives everyday and no one stops to think about them! Then, I have the constant "dont have a job" voice running through my head. I check Teach In Alabama about 20 times a day....and I am not exaggerating! I am sooo worried that I am not going to get a lucky break like some people. I just do not know what I am doing wrong....maybe my interview today was impressive and made me stand out!!! I just keep praying and hoping something will come along. I know its early in the summer and they are still trying to figure out where everyone is going to be next year...but I still worry!! I am lucky to be married to an amazing guy who would do anything for me!! I caught myself staring at him today and looking at his ring....I just cannot believe it! I am lucky enough to be married to him. Still almost a year later, its just unbelievable. Marriage is the best ever! Now I just need that awesome teaching job to make it all complete :) Thanks for reading my life...love you guys...continue praying!

Is It My Turn?

Well, I am trying not to freak out, but I kinda am! I know people are telling me not to that God will take care of me....but is it my turn yet??? I have been putting all my energy and money into these applications I am sending out...hello??!! 1.80??!! Doesnt that look like I am trying here??!! I am asking for interviews, calling and not getting anyone.....someone please help me!! Tell me what to do....i wish I had connections in the education world, but I do not! I am just trying my best to stand out somehow and even applying to Christian schools...maybe something will come by the end of the summer!! I hope!!! I sent my stuff off today for Baldwin County.....Bay Minette area....man that would be awesome! Dont know how we would get there or survive for the first couple of months, but im sure we would be okay! I just need a sign or something to tell me what to do...I keep getting discouraged....and now my hubby's dream looks like its going to get shot down yet again :/ can we not get our dreams to come true?!! I mean I dont understand what we have done......but I know i need patience!! Please pray for us as we go through this difficult time.....its hard to sit and watch everything we have depend on day to day what happens!! I just want something!! When will our economy get better??? The presidential election could change all of this if people would vote!!! GO VOTE!! unless you want this same stuff to go on for the next 4 years again!! I pray God puts his hand on me and gives me patience and make me humble of what I have!!!

Wow....God is powerful!!

Well, I have quit freaking out about the whole job situation. I just hope one of the prospects contacts me and I can have my own classroom. I am freaking out about people already starting to get jobs!! It just gets me stressed even more!! I miss G.W. Floyd so bad....I miss seeing my fellow collegues everyday!! I miss the money especially, but I know God is going to take care of us!!! Just continue to pray and if you hear anything it would be awesome to have a lead!! Thanks so much!

Well, this week has gone by sooo slow!! I thought it would never be the weekend. Tim worked almost every night until 10, 12, 2 am in the morning busting his tail!!! I never got to see him or talk to him except on the phone....it was starting to become annoying and I was getting frustrated quickly!! Well last night I finally got to spend time with him and go out to eat!! I was soooo excited!! Until the bad news came....I told him I had been trying to call him on his business phone, but he told me that was why....he no longer had his work phone. The company took it back and he was no longer going back there. I started squaling.....how could this happen to us again in the last 6 months!! I thought this would last a little longer....for those of you that dont know...Tim was also let go at the beginning of the year from his computer job that he had for the whole time we have been together...4 years!! I couldnt take it that night and I couldnt last night....I have been stressed and freaking out because now neither of us have jobs ( mine ends Friday) and I hate not knowing whats going to happen. I feel like I am being punished for something or not relying on God enough like I say I am going to!! I just need prayers so bad!! I cannot handle this on my own and just have to have faith that God will take care of us....the sad part is I hate to bother him because I know of all the people that are really depending on him right now, but I know he told us in the Bible that that is what he wants us to do...is rely on him and not lean on our own understanding!!! He is going to be beside us forever holding our hand!! Well....I am going to the tanning bed with mom....I will add more later!! ok so im back now...and apparently still here...either im not right with God...which is not it...or someone was wrong! DUH!!! anyways, yesterday was pretty hard! I dont think people realize that teachers only get paid once a month and its not a lot...especially for substitutes!!! So, I just hope I can get one of these teaching jobs I have applied for...which there are tons of us and now tons more just graduated that are all trying to get in there.....I am just worried...what if I go another year without a job??? I dont think I can take rejection more!!! I guess im going to get on my knees and pray with everything in me!! I know I have let God down many times and everyday!! I am so sorry for being a backsliden Christian and not showing others how I am supposed to live!! I know something needs to change!!! Thanks so much for everyone giving me encouragment and advice!! I hope things turn around...and who knows maybe God is setting Tim up to get his dream radio job...on the beach!! hehe i wish!! Thanks for reading! Deuces!

Until You

Well, I am sitting here on the couch being bored out of my mind!!! I cannot believe I only have 12 more days of school WAHOO!! I am praying and hoping that this is the year I can have my own classroom!! I have become so much more reliant on God because I have finally figured out that I cannot handle this life on my own. I am loving life!! I cannot believe in 2 months me and Tim have been married a year!!! WOW!! Time has flown by so fast!!! I have enjoyed every second. I hope this summer we can take time to go relax and take time with each other!! I have never been more in love with someone! He makes my heart skip a beat when I see him!! I only long to see him when I get out of school and think about him all day!! I love Tim sooo much!!! Anyways, so people need to quit having babies around me because I get excited for the showers and gifts and holding them.....we definitely dont need one any time soon, but I cannot wait!!! Tim will be a great father and hopefully Rudy will approve!! Guess we will find out in a couple of years!! We definitely want to travel and get to see some things we havent gotten to,but eventually we will talk about it!!

Starting Up

Hey guys!! How are you? Well, I have a little help right now learning out to do this from the help guide lol......I am currently about to lose my mind......things in life are getting tight and I have no clue where to go, but just make my relationship with God tighter!! I am enjoying teaching 5th grade....if they would just enjoy it as much as me! :) I hope to find a job this year!! I really really want my own classroom!!! I think I deserve it as much work as I have done this year to better myself. It just feels like everyone else gets handed everything in life, while me and Tim struggle to make the best out of what we have. I am blessed with an awesome family, but they can only get you so far. And in the field I am in, they cannot get me anywhere. My family members do not work on the board of education so I feel like I just have to put myself out there more!! Well I just got done grading papers and watching Secret Life....now to read The Mystery of Saint Matthew Island for the week.....I'm off to bed! Hopefully this blog will get better with time....bare with me :)